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Question DetailsAsked on 5/14/2011

Did I make a mistake buying a Saab?

I bought a a 1998 Saab convertable with a little over a 100K and a good maintainence record. I put the top down without having the windows fully down and now I have a bent window track. I took it to my fiance's mechanic who obviously doen't share my admiration for the Saab. He worked on the driver side and tomorrow he will start on the side I was conserned about, and may have to buy parts that may cost more than it's worth. The car is in beautiful condition (body, roof, tires , interior, sound system) and I feel offended that he has been so negative about the car. My fiance is probably not happy to begin with because I surprised him with the car when I returned from my hometown last week and the mechanic is just fueling the fire. I'd like to just pull it out of his shop as is and go to the mechanic I found on Angies List today. Should I let this guy keep hammering away at this just to finish the job (and never go back again ) Or fire him? I am feeling angry at both my fiance and the mechanic but I don't want to react emotionally. Help!!!

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4 Answers


Old Grouch approaches soap box and mounts same whilst clearing his throat.

"Jones" he says, "Having a car that you have long admired is emotional.

Being caught between a fiance (emotional squared) and a mechanic that the fiance suggested (more feeling of entrapment or emotion) is emotional.

Feeling that the guys are teamed-up against you and your beloved Saab - - way emotional.

Coming here and saying you don't want to react emotionally - well, maybe you are trying to avoid being irrational because, you're already emotionally vested."

[quote user="jones"]

...I'd like to just pull it out of his shop as is and go to the mechanic I found on Angies List today...I am feeling angry at both my fiance and the mechanic...


Like I tell my adult seem to know what you want to do so, you don't need approval.

I vote you neither fire the mechanic or allow him to continue. He has told you that his repairs are likely not cost effective.

Maybe you should call him in the morning, thank him for his sage advice and agree that you need to ponder alternatives and ask if you can fetch the Saab and how much do you owe for his time thus far. Being your fiance's mechanic and it being the manly thing to stick together, he might even let you go without a charge now that you've come to your senses.

Then, take it to the person you feel comfortable with and solicit a second opinion. If the opinion and estimated costs seem reasonable, jump on it and let your fiance know that you took his mechanic's advice and found an alternative to patch the situation that could be done within the value of the vehicle. Lavish him with praise for having such a wise mechanic and be appreciative that you probably have saved a lot of time and following their advice.

Deceptive? Maybe/maybe not. Dealing with Y Chromosomes is a learning process that you will never complete. People with Y Chromosomes need to be managed. If they feel like the solution came from them or their suggestion, it is hard for them to argue with the result.

If you're ever going to move from fiance to m mmm m oh heck, that M word[:$], you might find that it's more rewarding to manage their needs than to get angry and try to change them (us).

And, when you finish the windows adventure, think about visiting . Find a club of owners in your area and get to know some of them whether you join or not. You'd be amazed how willing they will probably be to help you get into ownership and figure your way though problems like your windows in the future.

Answered 9 years ago by Old Grouch


"I'd like to just pull it out of his shop as is and go to the mechanic I found on Angies List today."

Sounds like an excellent idea. I wouldn't take my cat to a vet who hated cats, and I wouldn't take my car to someone who didn't like it either.

You won't be happy unless you do what is right for you, and it sounds like you already know what that is.

Answered 9 years ago by Commonsense


As you can see from my response, I agree with the substance of your take on this situation but I disagree strongly with all the maneuvering you recommend.

"Deceptive? Maybe/maybe not." Definitely deceptive. It is dysfunctional for any adult to "manage" another adult's needs. What's wrong with honesty and open communication?

"If they feel like the solution came from them or their suggestion, it is hard for them to argue with the result." I don't personally care whether men feel the solution came from them or not. Why should a solution come from a male and not a female? Who cares if they want to argue with the result? For that matter, what's wrong with arguing?

In this instance we have a woman who has mostly likely been taught - as all women in this society are - to not trust her own judgment and so she seems nervous about not pleasing her fiance, the mechanic, etc. I'm attempting to provide an alternative point of view, as someone who has largely broken through those cultural stereotypes. While I don't enjoy displeasing anyone, the reactions of another person to my actions are not a major factor in determining what those actions should be.

And by the way I do know your response was tongue in cheek to a certain extent, Mike - and I appreciate your point of view and I think you are largely right in the majority of what you say and I respect you for who you are. . . .blah blah blah. . . .[;)]. . . .

Answered 9 years ago by Commonsense


Seems we've forgotten the questions, but...

Commonsense? in this society many women were "taught" to be savvy about car repairs and other manly things! <many, many years ago I enjoyed playing gofer for my dad and therefore learned more than basic auto mechanics! Not only can my daughter check the oil in her car, she can change it & the filter before properly disposing of them in an earth friendly way.

The only things the WOMEN in this family avoid are iffy electrical and major plumbing

Answered 9 years ago by tessa89

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