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Question DetailsAsked on 10/25/2012

how do I cope with the frustration i feel in a situation I feel trapped in?

1. My job pays just enough but offers no social outlet. I am isolated at work for 8 1/2 full hours, plus I have to commute for 2 hours
2. I am living with a man who turned out to be very lazy, shallow, and can be quite mean if I do not behave cheerful,adoring and sexual. I cannot approach him for emotional support
3. Due to my job, and responsiblities to a dog and the home, my time is very limited and I have no social outlets. I work, come home, take careof things, go to bed. etc etc. On weekends I get about 3 free hours in which I try to get away alone to exercise and read the paper.
4. There is 18 months left on the mortgage before we can renew or sell the home and I can get out of the relationship. So I am sort of resigned to being in the situation for now, but I really need some advice on how to keep my despair at bay. I can't lose my job, and I can't afford to make it on my own right now. I listen to podcasts, to try to stay positive, and drink wine often.

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Sadly, your predicament is a common one. The effects of the "sensory deprivation" that your current schedule gives you can be very intolerable. Even worse, I imagine, is the fact that you feel powerless over your relationship at home and certainly over your work situation. I agree with you, not having friends with whom you can talk is a gigantic barricade to you doing better.
It's interesting that you have responded by upping your wine intake to numb the pain of the situation. Please don't get angry from the following suggestion, but I have been down this road before.
Finding an AA group to go to would really give you a lot of good benefits. AA deals with loneliness, despair, hopelessness and the feelings of powerlessness that we find ourselves encountering in daily life. This would also give you a very welcoming support group to help you work through the issues you currently face and be able to take back control of your life.
The fact that you respond to the stress with increasing your alcohol intake and the fact that you were in a codependent relationship with your boyfriend is not helping now, Recognizing these things and dealing with them can help you immeasurably by preventing you from getting into the same situations in the future. AA is great group therapy and it only costs a voluntary donation of maybe a dollar a session and there are groups meeting at all times all over the country, so there should be one or two or three accessible to you.
Good luck to you!!!
It's one day at a time.

Answered 7 years ago by mbandercoot




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